You know, this time last year, I could hardly speak a word of Spanish. This put me at a distinct disadvantage for at the time I was travelling Latin America. Sure I 'd taken a few Spanish classes before setting out. An hour a week for a couple of months but it was over tea and buns at a local café. Four lovely old retired ladies and me trying to learn a new language.
Suffice to say most of the conversation was in English about the rising cost of heating rather than anything useful to say Spanish. 'Hola, gracias' and the very useful 'estoy perdido' (I'm lost) were the only words I could remember when I arrived on that great continent.
I picked up some other words along the way as well, such as 'my bag with all my money, credit cards and passport have been stolen' , but that's another story.
As a recent native to these shores I felt it was important to assimilate into the way of life and learn at least the basics of Spanish. After-all "Hola, estoy perdido" , for example, will not cut the mustard when trying to order a meal.
"Grammatically you are all over the place" said Penelope, the 'headmistress' of a language school here on the island . Sat in a classroom, I'd just sat a level entry test to see how my Spanish understanding was. Consequently I was sent to the absolute beginners class and hopefully move beyond 'hola, estoy perdido'
Despite mastering some of the language, it's the pronunciation I find the hardest to get my tongue around. In particular the double L, the 'll' as in llavé (key).
Basically the 'll' sound is the same as 'Yah' from the name of that popular beat combo circa 1980 Yahzoo. Vince Clarke and the wonderful voice of Alison Moyet. Thus llavé is pronounced, not the same way as old slang for an English toilet, but 'yah-veh'.
Paella is another double L word. A wonderful aromatic dish of saffron rice served with sea food or originally, chicken and vegetables. Paella is a word that has slipped into the English language and it is commonly pronounced 'Pie-Ella'. 'Pie' as in the steak and kidney variety, and 'Ella' as in the fabulous jazz warbler of the 1950's, Ella Fitzgerald. The pronunciation has been ingrained into my vocabulary as such.
Several Spanish classes later, I decided to put my new found knowledge to the test and ventured into a local restaurant for lunch in San Antonio. I was accompanied by my friend Hannah. She was over to stay for the weekend, speaks fluent Spanish, and naturally I was eager to make a good impression. As a back-up I was armed with my pocket dictionary, a souvenir from Chile.
"Dos copas de vino tinto, por favor" I said to the attending waiter as he handed us the menu.
"Si" he replied. "Blimey" I said to Hannah, "this Spanish malarkey really works."
With Hannah's help I negotiated my way through the amazing array of fare on offer. Eventually we settled that superb Spanish seafood dish.
The waiter returned with pen poised. A charming sole with the touch of the young Roger Moore about him. " ¿y para comer ?" (and to eat?) he enquired.
"Pie-Ella para dos" I replied.
The pen stopped writing and raising one eye-brow he looked up at me. See, I said he had the touch of Roger Moore about him.
"It's pronounced Pah-ay- Yah". said Hannah, trying not to laugh.
" 'Pa' as in Patrick, 'ay' as in take away and 'yah' as is Yahoo, the internet search engine" ."Pa-ay-yah", she sang, as if the reinforce the point.
Three tongue-tied attempts later I finally managed to say, in a questioning and apologetic voice to the waiter, "Pa-ay-yah, para dos por favor?"
"Si señor", and he turned and walked to the kitchen, chuckling to himself.
I looked at my friend Hannah. She was raising her glass towards me, but her wonderful blue eyes could not hide her amusement. All my Spanish training and linguistic ability shattered in an instant.
"Really?" she said, raising one eye-brow, then burst out laughing, her infectious laughter making me do the same.
So, if you are visiting this glorious isle, want to fit in and don't want look as daft as I did then remember it's 'Pa-ay-yah' and not 'Pie-Ella.'
A good sport that Roger Moore, and a cracking restaurant too.
Just a minute!
